When was the last time you were afraid of God?

Intro:

Continuing in my process through the God Encounters book – today, chapter 2.4

Questions:

• What part of your life forgets to tremble?

I don’t tremble.  I haven’t trembled in years.  It’s not who I am.  I fix things – if something is scary, I fix it, subdue it, avoid it, or crush it.  I’m not saying this is the best way to handle things, it’s just what I’ve learned.  If I can’t fix it, I get a bigger hammer.

As I write that, I’m impressed to explore the suppress, subdue, and/or crush scenario.  Hmmm…

So, I suppose the answer is- in all aspects.

Whoa. Note to self: Need some work here.  This is a spiritual discipline that I not only need to work on, but I didn’t know it existed.

• When was the last time you were afraid of God?  What caused your fear?

As mentioned in the book, maybe we’ve done such a good job rejecting Jonathan Edwards’ Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God, that we’ve forgotten that fear and trembling are OK.

However, I think I’m afraid now.  Afraid that God won’t live up to the promises I cling to.  Will He really take care of us?  Will He really shield us from persecution?  Will He really see us through this mess?

We only have enough money for two more house payments.  What happens God?  What happens next?  Did we hear you wrong?  Did we misunderstand?  What if our theology is wrong?  Will you still take care of us?

Over the past several months, since my Smiling Son was weaned, I’ve had the delightful opportunity to develop a deeper relationship with him.  It’s really been fun, exciting, rewarding, and meaningful.  There have been times where I can tell that he just adores me.  However, something happened recently.  Mommy and Darling Daughter went to an event and it was just the boys at home.  Suddenly, he got shy, timid, and maybe even a bit afraid of his Dad.

I was taken aback some.  He hadn’t acted that way with me ever.  Of course I adapted, but it was obvious that he was still quite attached to his Mommy and hadn’t quite developed that trust level with me yet.  It was as if he was looking at me, thinking, “Do you have what it takes to take care of me?  Do you know where the food and diapers are?  What if I start crying?  Will you be able to handle that?  Maybe you ought to call Mommy right now – just in case?  Maybe you ought to get her over here… um, now – just in case I start crying or something.”

So how did I handle this?  Well, a less secure parent might have been hurt and wounded to the core.  I could have taken it as an affront to my competence – or worse, as a doubting of my unconditional love of him.  But I didn’t.  I realized this was his issue, not mine.  I backed off and gave him some space.  I dialed up the fun quotient and turned on the attraction.  IOW, attraction, not promotion.  It had moderate success.  We didn’t end up with a wailing toddler begging for his Mommy – but he was sure glad when Mommy got home.

Where did I learn this? From watching others.

I’ve watched people who seemingly adore children or pets.  They walk in the door and immediately they want said children to snuggle with them.  But, um, those said children don’t know this stranger.  They have no relationship – no trust.  The kids hang back in apparent shyness.  My mother was one of those people – loved kids and was dying to snuggle with them.  Kids avoided her.

What I do is basically ignore the kids.  Say hi, smile gently, but don’t try to touch them (handshake, high-5, etc) – just focus on the tasks at hand, or the adults I came to see.  Before too long, the kids are my friend.  Same with pets – but for different reasons.  I’m not naturally drawn to other people’s dogs (especially yappy, little dogs) – or cats.  But by ignoring them, pretty soon all cats end up in my lap. (sigh)

Since that experience with my Smiling Son, we have continued to grow our relationship.  In fact when I ran a quick errand to the store Friday afternoon, he caught my attention, thumped his chest and said, “Me? Me?”  He desperately wanted to go with me – and we had a great time together.

So, here’s how I see it.

I’m hanging back, wondering: “Are you up for this God?  Do you know where the food is?  What if I start crying?  Will you know what I need?  What if I misbehave, are you going to whack me?”  Where’s this going?  Is Mommy ever coming back?  No one consulted me on this change?  I’m not so sure I can really trust you…“

Is it possible that God has adopted an attraction model also?  Is He just waiting for me to come to Him?

I think so.  I believe I don’t need to be afraid.

Before my kids could talk – and long before they could even begin to express why they were crying – they still had needs.  As a parent Dad (Mom’s have an intuitive skill/knowledge – they just know.  I always skipped the 20 questions and just asked the Mom – it was quicker), it is our job to play 20 questions and figure out why they’re crying.  But here’s the deal – just because I couldn’t figure out what was wrong, that didn’t mean that I abandoned my kids.  Even if I didn’t understand their pleas, I didn’t leave them to their own devices.

But also, children never stop asking until they get what they need.  And in those early years, they get everything they ask for.  When they get older, they try to get more than they need – and we, as parents, use our judgement to determine whether they need it or not.  We look at the big picture, the little picture, the needs vs. wants, the treat vs. spoiling, the special occasion vs. routine, and so on, and so forth, et cetera, blah, blah, blah…

My conclusion on this. It is my “job” to ask.  It is God’s job to answer.  Sometimes I’m the one-year old and sometimes I’m the 13-year old.  Sometimes I cry and babble inconsolably – sometimes I throw a tantrum – and sometimes I want something that is not only unnecessary, but downright harmful.

If I really need it, He will give it to me.  If I don’t need it – He will think about it.  If it is harmful, he won’t let me have it.

• What strikes profound reverence or awe in you? Explain.
  

Impossible answers to prayer always amaze me.  Either physically impossible, or psychic impossibilities.

10 years ago I was running out of money, soon to be married, and at a dead-end.  As I surrendered that, God showed up in the form of an email offering me a job.  All I could do is weep.

A year later, while going through the one-week church planter assessment process, I was at a crossroads in my life.  I had moved to Michigan to attend the seminary, but I wasn’t convicted that I was staying – so I didn’t unpack.  I attended church planting assessment and seminary orientation at the same time.  Towards the end of the week, while having some QT3 with God, I felt His presence.  It was intense, for it felt like He’d been silent for over nine months.  Since calling me into full-time ministry, I hadn’t really heard from Him.  But that day He showed up.

It was as if He had His hand on my shoulder and was saying, “I’ve been here the whole time.” I knew in that moment that I would be staying in the seminary and not doing a church plant anytime soon.  When the church planting assessment team sat down with me the next day to tell me the same thing, I just nodded my head knowingly.

It is these moments that inspire awe.

So here’s a self-devised question: Why can’t I anticipate that awe?  Why not act as if?  As if the answer has already been received – and start doing the awe thing already.

When my kids see me do something that would be impossible to them, they stand there, mouths agape, laughing, giggling, and begging me to do it again.  So, once again I toss the orange in the air and bounce it off my bicep and back into my hand.  Over and over, and they laugh.

• How would you define the difference between the fear the disciples experienced and the fear being advocated in Deuteronomy 10?

The disciples were afraid, God asks us to revere Him.

• In what ways can fearing and loving God happen simultaneously?  Can you love God and yet fear Him?  Explain.

Probably – or He wouldn’t have asked us to do it.

Questions like this reveal the superficiality of my faith.

Prayer:

Father God – take me to a deeper level – please.  Oh, you are?  Yeah, I was afraid of that…

Discussion:

Saturday night while cooking dinner, I put my iPod on random to play on the home stereo.  Whenever I do this, I pray that God will direct the music selections.  He always comes through.  The following song came on – it comes from the first Jars of Clay album that was pretty much my theme from 1995 to 1999.  This song, as I listened to it the other night, is a prayer I’ve been praying for several years.  The Lord is in the midst of answering this prayer.

Scary? YES!

Needed? Yes.

Trusting? I’m learning?

Jesus Would be Hanging Out at Starbucks

Scripture:

Luke 15:1-2

1 Tax collectors and other notorious sinners often came to listen to Jesus teach. 2 This made the Pharisees and teachers of religious law complain that he was associating with such sinful people—even eating with them!

Observations:

Jesus associated with the unchurched, but why? Isn’t a pastor supposed to keep the flock?  And yet here he is, in the taverns, on the streets, hanging out at Starbucks.  So, that caused the Pharisees and other teachers of the Law to complain.

Applications:

I got heat for my time online – over 60% of Western Civilization is online.  I got heat for being in stores – and yet, what better place to find people?  I was given grief for being at Starbucks all the time – but that’s where the current culture gathers.  Bottom line is, they wanted me to take care of them.  But I saw my job as reaching out to the unchurched.  Those two views did not merge well.

Prayer:

Lord, may I never lose passion for those who don’t know you.

Superficial Treatments

Scripture	Observations/Paraphrase	Application
Jeremiah 8	September 11, 2009
1 “In that day,” says the Lord , “the enemy will break open the graves of the kings and officials of Judah, and the graves of the priests, prophets, and common people of Jerusalem.2 They will spread out their bones on the ground before the sun, moon, and stars—the gods my people have loved, served, and worshiped. Their bones will not be gathered up again or buried but will be scattered on the ground like manure.3 And the people of this evil nation who survive will wish to die rather than live where I will send them. I, the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, have spoken! Deception by False Prophets 4 “Jeremiah, say to the people, `This is what the Lord says: “`When people fall down, don’t they get up again? When they discover they’re on the wrong road, don’t they turn back? 5 Then why do these people stay on their self-destructive path? Why do the people of Jerusalem refuse to turn back? They cling tightly to their lies and will not turn around. 6 I listen to their conversations and don’t hear a word of truth. Is anyone sorry for doing wrong? Does anyone say, “What a terrible thing I have done”? No! All are running down the path of sin as swiftly as a horse galloping into battle! 7 Even the stork that flies across the sky knows the time of her migration, as do the turtledove, the swallow, and the crane.s They all return at the proper time each year. But not my people! They do not know the Lord ’s laws. 8 “`How can you say, “We are wise because we have the word of the Lord ,” when your teachers have twisted it by writing lies? 9 These wise teachers will fall into the trap of their own foolishness, for they have rejected the word of the Lord . Are they so wise after all? 10 I will give their wives to others and their farms to strangers. From the least to the greatest, their lives are ruled by greed. Yes, even my prophets and priests are like that. They are all frauds. 11 They offer superficial treatments for my people’s mortal wound. They give assurances of peace when there is no peace. 12 Are they ashamed of these disgusting actions? Not at all—they don’t even know how to blush! Therefore, they will lie among the slaughtered. They will be brought down when I punish them, says the Lord . 13 I will surely consume them. There will be no more harvests of figs and grapes. Their fruit trees will all die. Whatever I gave them will soon be gone. I, the Lord , have spoken!’ 14 “Then the people will say, `Why should we wait here to die? Come, let’s go to the fortified towns and die there. For the Lord our God has decreed our destruction and has given us a cup of poison to drink because we sinned against the Lord . 15 We hoped for peace, but no peace came. We hoped for a time of healing, but found only terror.’ 16 “The snorting of the enemies’ warhorses can be heard all the way from the land of Dan in the north! The neighing of their stallions makes the whole land tremble. They are coming to devour the land and everything in it— cities and people alike. 17 I will send these enemy troops among you like poisonous snakes you cannot charm. They will bite you, and you will die. I, the Lord, have spoken!” Jeremiah Weeps for Sinful Judah 18 My grief is beyond healing; my heart is broken. 19 Listen to the weeping of my people; it can be heard all across the land. “Has the Lord abandoned Jerusalem?s” the people ask. “Is her King no longer there?” “Oh, why have they provoked my anger with their carved idols and their worthless foreign gods?” says the Lord . 20 “The harvest is finished, and the summer is gone,” the people cry, “yet we are not saved!” 21 I hurt with the hurt of my people. I mourn and am overcome with grief. 22 Is there no medicine in Gilead? Is there no physician there? Why is there no healing for the wounds of my people?	Jeremiah speaks of their graves being desecrated by their enemies.  Those that survive will wish to die, rather than to go where God is sending them. God says, “When they fall down, don’t they get up again?  When they discover they’re on the wrong road, don’t they turn back?  Then why won’t these people turn from their self-destructive path?  Why do they refuse to turn back and cling tightly to their lies?” God says that He listens to their conversations but doesn’t hear a word of truth.  Is anyone sorry for doing wrong?  Does anyone say what a terrible thing they have done?  No.  All are running down the path of sin – as swiftly as a horse galloping into battle! Even the migrating birds know when it is time to come home.  But not God’s people.  They do not know God’s laws. They say, “We are wise because we have the word of the Lord. – but your teachers have twisted it by writing lies.  These wise teachers will fall into the trap of their own foolishness – for they have rejected the word of the Lord. Are they really so wise after all? God will give their property to strangers, their lives are ruled by greed. Yes, even the prophets and priests are like that – they are all frauds. They offer superficial treatments for my people’s moral wound.  They offer assurances of peace, when there is no peace. Are they ashamed?  Not at all.  They don’t even know how to blush. “The harvest is finished,  and the summer is gone,” the people cry,  “yet we are not saved!” Jeremiah weeps.  His heart is broken.  He says: “I hurt with the hurt of my people.   I mourn and am overcome with grief. Is there no medicine in Gilead?  Is there no physician there?  Why is there no healing  for the wounds of my people?”	I have been resisting/avoiding my continued reading in Jeremiah.  It’s just too heavy, to sad, and too overwhelming.  The scenes are just too similar to our current situations. As I’ve gone through the paths I’ve been walking lately, I somehow expected the logic of the situations to spring forth and the attacks on me would stop.  But they didn’t, and they haven’t.  Jeremiah and God faced this – the people just continue to cling to the lies. Spiritual blinders.  The more God cried out through Jeremiah, the more the people refused to listen.  Does this say something about their true heart? God isn’t hearing truth spoken. Normally, when I have an encounter with God, a couple of things happen. First, I see the beauty of God and I want to draw close to Him. Next, I see my own inadequacy, and I am ashamed. Third, I am enveloped by God’s grace, and I am broken. His love then steps into my life to raise me from that brokenness. Finally, I am left with a great evangelistic zeal – I want everyone to experience what I’ve experienced? But God’s people say they are wise, but they only twist the words and fall into traps of their own doing. Are we really wise? Even the leaders are this way – they offer superficial treatments for mortal wounds.  But are they ashamed?  Not at all. They don’t even know how to blush!
Prayer

Father God.  These are hard passages and they make me concerned about my family.  Teach me how to care for your entire family.

G

Original Document

Cave of Adullam

Scripture	Observations/Paraphrase	Application
Psalm 62	September 3, 2009
For Jeduthun, the choir director: A psalm of David. 1 I wait quietly before God, for my victory comes from him. 2 He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will never be shaken. 3 So many enemies against one man— all of them trying to kill me. To them I’m just a broken-down wall or a tottering fence. 4 They plan to topple me from my high position. They delight in telling lies about me. They praise me to my face but curse me in their hearts.     Interlude 5 Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him. 6 He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken. 7 My victory and honor come from God alone. He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me. 8 O my people, trust in him at all times. Pour out your heart to him, for God is our refuge.     Interlude 9 Common people are as worthless as a puff of wind, and the powerful are not what they appear to be. If you weigh them on the scales, together they are lighter than a breath of air. 10 Don’t make your living by extortion or put your hope in stealing. And if your wealth increases, don’t make it the center of your life. 11 God has spoken plainly, and I have heard it many times: Power, O God, belongs to you; 12 unfailing love, O Lord, is yours. Surely you repay all people according to what they have done.	I wait quietly before God, for it is from Him that my victory comes.  He alone is my rock and my salvation – my fortress where I will never be shaken. So many enemies against one man – all of them trying to kill me.  To them, I’m just a broken down wall, or a tottering fence.  They plan to topple me from my high position.  They delight in telling lies about me.  They praise me to my face, but curse me in their hearts. Let all  that I am, wait quietly before God – for my hope is in Him.  He alone is my rock and my salvation.  My fortress where I will not be shaken.  My victory and honor come from God alone.  He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me. Oh people, trust in Him at all times.  Pour out your heart to Him – for God is our refuge. Common people are as worthless as a puff of wind, and the powerful are not what they appear to be.  If you weigh them on the scales, together they are lighter than a breath of air. Don’t make your living by extortion or put your hope in stealing.  If your wealth increases, don’t make it the center of your life. God has spoken plainly and I have heard  it many times.  Power, oh God, belongs to you – unfailing love, oh Lord, is yours.  Surely you repay all people according to what they have done.	I have wanted to really get into Jeremiah’s story for about the last 9-10 months.  And it’s been longer than that where I have been asking the question, “Is there room for an Ezekiel, or a Jeremiah, in today’s church?”  The answer that comes back to me, through prayer, through others, and through outright common sense, is no – there is not room for a prophet that calls for repentance in today’s church. And yet, I have felt led to push forward with this message.  I didn’t want to.  But, like Jeremiah, I had to. Undoubtedly, I’ve been treated far better than most of the prophets in the Bible. [NOTE: I'm not saying I'm a prophet, but I do believe that I have been called to share a message - big difference.  I'm just using the word/label: prophet for comparison purposes] Most of God’s messengers were killed, imprisoned, maimed, beaten, stoned, etc.  The only thing  that has happened to me is that I’ve lost my job – and any sense of security that has gone along with that. Yesterday’s reading of Jeremiah 7 really rocked me.  Seeing the comparisons of todays secular and church cultures, to the times of Jeremiah, well it was scary really. But today, after three surgeries in three weeks, a loss of income, finding nothing but job-seeking dead-ends – well, I am just spent. Like David, my only strength is in God. I do feel attacked on every level. The move out here, was hard, then my wife got sick – few people either understood that, or were sympathetic.  As I focused on taking care of her, I let some tasks slide – but apparently that was unacceptable. I feel as if I’ve been labeled a liar, a cheat, a thief.  I feel as if people have decided that I am evil.  I feel as if they seek to take revenge on me by denying reimbursements, withholding financial remunerations, and making me jump through hoops   which I neither have the time, the energy, or the will to do right now. I’ve been scrambling to take care of medical issues, before we loose healthcare insurance.  I’ve been applying for work, networking, and seeking financial avenues.  I’ve been trying to work with our bank, the state, and other agencies as I seek to find a way out of this financial morass that we have being sucked into. But in the meantime, it feels as if the very people who should be sympathetic to our issues, are putting more pressures on us to prove ourselves for every dime.  There appears to be little or no sympathy, no mercy, and definitely no charity. I feel increasingly backed into a corner.  Beaten down.  Exhausted.  It is just really hard.  The Church, at this point in my life, definitely looks more like Jeremiah 7 then it does John 4. Lord, you are my only strength.
Prayer

Today God – just for today.  I just couldn’t read anymore of Jeremiah.  I felt impressed, by You, yesterday, to just take some time in the Cave of Adullam – to rest, recharge, and renew.  That is hard for me to do right now God.  There are so many pressing issues.  So many priorities, and so many deadlines looming.  But like the text that Jennifer read yesterday, you have promised to take care of us – so, I am leaning on you today God – please take care of us.

I need to let go of those who consider me an enemy.  I need to let go of those who seek to do me harm.  My friend told me they would seek to murder me, if they found out what I really stood for.  He was right.  It has been really hard – very unexpected – and very damaging.  Please help us God – please help us.

G

Original

Hear His Calling

Scripture	Observations/Paraphrase	Application
Jeremiah 1	August 14, 2009
Jeremiah 1 1 These are the words of Jeremiah son of Hilkiah, one of the priests from the town of Anathoth in the land of Benjamin.2 The Lord first gave messages to Jeremiah during the thirteenth year of the reign of Josiah son of Amon, king of Judah.s3 The Lord ’s messages continued throughout the reign of King Jehoiakim, Josiah’s son, until the eleventh year of the reign of King Zedekiah, another of Josiah’s sons. In Augusts of that eleventh year the people of Jerusalem were taken away as captives. Jeremiah’s Call and First Visions 4 The Lord gave me this message: 5 “I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.” 6 “O Sovereign Lord ,” I said, “I can’t speak for you! I’m too young!” 7 The Lord replied, “Don’t say, `I’m too young,’ for you must go wherever I send you and say whatever I tell you.8 And don’t be afraid of the people, for I will be with you and will protect you. I, the Lord , have spoken!”9 Then the Lord reached out and touched my mouth and said, “Look, I have put my words in your mouth! 10 Today I appoint you to stand up against nations and kingdoms. Some you must uproot and tear down, destroy and overthrow. Others you must build up and plant.” 11 Then the Lord said to me, “Look, Jeremiah! What do you see?” And I replied, “I see a branch from an almond tree.” 12 And the Lord said, “That’s right, and it means that I am watching, and I will certainly carry out all my plans.” 13 Then the Lord spoke to me again and asked, “What do you see now?” And I replied, “I see a pot of boiling water, spilling from the north.” 14 “Yes,” the Lord said, “for terror from the north will boil out on the people of this land.15 Listen! I am calling the armies of the kingdoms of the north to come to Jerusalem. I, the Lord , have spoken! “They will set their thrones at the gates of the city. They will attack its walls and all the other towns of Judah. 16 I will pronounce judgment on my people for all their evil— for deserting me and burning incense to other gods. Yes, they worship idols made with their own hands! 17 “Get up and prepare for action. Go out and tell them everything I tell you to say. Do not be afraid of them, or I will make you look foolish in front of them. 18 For see, today I have made you strong like a fortified city that cannot be captured, like an iron pillar or a bronze wall. You will stand against the whole land— the kings, officials, priests, and people of Judah. 19 They will fight you, but they will fail. For I am with you, and I will take care of you. I, the Lord , have spoken!”	Josiah was eight when he assumed the role of king and Jeremiah began hearing from God in Josiah’s 13th year of reign.  That means Josiah would have been about 21.  This gave Jeremiah about 18 years to preach before Josiah is killed by Pharaoh Neco II. Josiah instituted many reforms and got rid of the symbols of idolatry.  But at his death, the downward slide of Judah began to take over. There is no doubt that the Lord was talking to Jeremiah.  He is regarded as one of the two great prophets , but Christians, Jews, and Islam. God tells him, I’ve known you for a long time – before you were even born – and I’m the one that formed you there.  I am your creator! But, in typical fashion, Jeremiah, like many before and after him, claims to be unqualified. In this case, he states his youth as a limiting factor. Rarely does God take no for an answer though.  No excuses here, he just says “Go. Don’t be afraid, say what I tell you to say, and I will protect you.” And then the hand of God touches Jeremiah.  Unlike Isaiah’s experience, or others, we aren’t told of how Jeremiah reacted.  However, God goes on to tell Jeremiah his role and authority to carry out that role. We often think that the servants of the Lord are only to bring blessings.  But here, God says he’ll also  be tearing down, destroying, and overthrowing.  Others, he will build up and plant. God tells him that He is watching and God’s plans will be carried out – like an almond tree that grows, because that’s what it was supposed to do. Then Jeremiah is told of God’s plans to send an invading army from the north.  Like a pot of boiling water, it is ready and already spilling out. God tells Jeremiah that the people are going to experience discipline (judgment) for their  disobedience. The invading armies will attack. And yet, God is fortifying Jeremiah.  He will be made strong – unless he cowers – if he  is afraid, he will look like a fool. God has made him strong like an iron pillar or a bronze wall.  He will stand against the whole land.  They will fight him, but they will fail – because God said so.	I don’t remember exactly when I first believed that I was being called to lead, but I know it goes way back into my childhood.  I was raised in a secular home though – and really didn’t have much of a concept of God. Around the age of 14-15, though I was pretty nerdy and shy, people began to seek me out to speak and lead in  spiritual matters.  But without a good foundation, I ran away for awhile. Over the last 15+ years, God has been actively prodding me to speak.  I seem to see things that others don’t.  I have big picture ideas in my head that seem to get lost in the busyness we call life. Probably the scariest of all these impressions is that the church, the organized church, is missing the point.  People have not torn down their idols  or high places.  They continue to walk in two places, serving polytheistic gods.  They are unwilling to let go of their humanistic idols. Much like Jeremiah, I argue with God.  First, I don’t have the education necessary to do this.  Theologically, I’ll get blown out of the water by those who can quote Greek and Hebrew – or who know the Bible  through and through. Yet, I hear God saying, to me, through this passage is, “So what?”  Since when did education have anything to do with success?  I can use you if you let me use you – but otherwise, you’ll just look foolish. I’ve been touched by God before, but I let the cares, stressors, and idolatry get in the way.  I begin to lose sight of that moment. Upon arriving in this area, I was shocked at the state of the church.  I didn’t want to, but I had to say something.  It wasn’t my choice. What I find confusing is that despite God’s promises to protect, I still lost my job.  Now, granted, I wasn’t stoned, hung, crucified, or murdered in some other horrible way, but losing my paycheck and health insurance is still pretty scary. I wonder when this will be, but I’m pretty sure Jeremiah had the same questions. I am convinced that I need to look at these promises differently.  God doesn’t say that Jeremiah won’t be harmed.  Only that they will fail and he won’t be captured. I need to see this spiritually.  I’ve always felt that the forces were not “flesh and blood” but powers of Satan.  I believe that Satan was trying to destroy my spirituality and stop the message I was preaching.  And, granted, there were times when I did hesitate, or was in bondage so I couldn’t speak – but I will never stop. I may be wounded, but the Word of God will prevail! What I hear, in this passage is that  my courage and willingness to be obedient is what keeps me from looking foolish.  And yet, isn’t it just like God to ask someone to do something foolish, so they won’t look foolish.  For isn’t preaching a message of repentance pretty foolish in an age when people just want to be told that everything is fine?

Father God,

For several months I’ve been wanting to dive into Jeremiah’s story.  I’ve felt this leading from you.  I’m sorry it’s taken so long.  I see so many similarities between this story and what happened to me here.  I have 100 excuses, but none of them valid.  Please forgive me for taking so long.  I sometimes wonder if I would have been more bold if I had taken this up – or less.  Maybe I wouldn’t have felt so beaten up and attacked?  Either way, those days are passed and I’m ready to hear your words.

As I stated above, one of ny biggest questions centers around the idea that “no harm will come to me.” While this seems to be a popular myth within the church world, I really don’t see any basis for it in the Bible accounts.  Some seem to think that being in Your Will is the safest place on earth.  I don’t believe that – in my head.  However, my heart wants to believe that.

Instead, what I believe is that “they can kill the body, but not the Spirit.“  They may hurt me, kill me, or worse, make my life a living Hell – but they can never take away your love and grace.  Being a melancholy though, I have a real propensity to give it up.  Sometimes it just doesn’t feel like I want to keep doing this – I just want to crawl into a cave and be  depressed.  I want to throw away my faith, like I did 30 years ago.  I want to hide from you – as if I could.  I want to quit being so bold about the things I see.

It is hard for me to be in organized churches.  The mediocrity, the majoring in minors, the gossip, the lack of worship – and by that I mean inspired worship.  I want to help – but on the same token, I’m afraid to be me.  For some, like my wife, it’s good enough.  For my kids, it’s really good.  For me, I see it as destructive to your image.

Lord, let me never speak out of my own pain – only out of your calling.

Teach me to rely on you – always.

Thanks God.

I love you too!

G

Afraid of the Dark

Scripture:

Isaiah 50:10-11 Who among you fears the Lord and obeys his servant?  If you are walking in darkness, without a ray of light, trust in the Lord and rely on your God. 11 But watch out, you who live in your own light and warm yourselves by your own fires.  This is the reward you will receive from me: You will soon fall down in great torment.

Observations:

This is the first time I’ve either read, or noticed, the juxtaposition of the fear of God with darkness.  In our culture, the fear of darkness is a socially acceptable phobia.  We acquire it when we are toddlers and some never lose it.  Infants have no fear of darkness, but somewhere around the age of two or three, children begin to fear darkness.

Unfortunately, very few children are taught to fear the Lord.  We do however teach children to be self-sufficient (e.g. the create their own light and warm themselves with their own fires.

Applications:

For several months now, I’ve been trying to create my own heat and light, but without success.  The message I was preaching, the leadership I was offering, and the vision I was casting were from my walk with God.  Sure, I made my share of mistakes, and I’ve sought to make amends for those, but that doesn’t denigrate the path I was blazing.  I’ve never seen myself called to be a manager of the status quo.  I’ve known from the beginning that I was called to push forward and do damage against the kingdom of darkness.

However, when I started to get some push-back, I recanted.  In order to protect my family, in order to protect our source of economic income, I pulled back and quit pushing.  I apologized, I expressed remorse, I sulked, I became depressed and despondent, and I tried hard to stop the inevitable loss of my employment.  In retrospect, I see that I was only trying to kindle my own fire and create heat and light for me and my family.

Reading the above text, the contrast was vivid.  I had to ask myself, why do I fear the darkness more than I fear God?  Why do I fear a loss of income, more than I fear God?  Why do I fear men, more than I fear God?  Why do I fear church leadership, more than I fear God?  Why do I fear mortgage creditors, tax returns, and car repairs more than I fear God?

Just asking those questions, makes me laugh.  Not a violent, mad-scientist laugh, but a chuckle – at my self.  And of course, it begs the question, what does it mean to “fear God?”

Fearing God is about respect.  We fear the darkness because we have a certain respect for the darkness.  While there may or may not be evil lurking in the darkness, we do know that we are limited in the sense that we can’t predict the future by taking in information by sight.  We have to rely on our sense of hearing – and very few of us could adequately identify the sound of a cougar ready to pounce from a tree.  Very few of us could identify the smell of a snake coiled in the brush.  And how many of us could identify the feel of a taste of a spider that accidentally crawled into our mouth?

We have learned to identify these dangers by sight.  Likewise, we have learned to determine our financial security and foundation by thinking logically.  We know that if we have $X in the bank and our income is greater than our expenses, we will be OK.  We know that we need to put so many dollars away each month for retirement.  And we know that as we pay our bills, we will be able to keep our house, cars, and our children fed.  We know this by logic.

However, God’s power, God’s direction, and even God’s presence defy logic, our senses, and our perceptions.  He is able to do above and beyond what we could ever imagine.  Our respect for Him, if we really knew Him, would surpass our respect for money, safety, darkness, security, financial planning, employment, etc.

If we really knew God, as Enoch knew Him.  If we knew God like Moses knew Him.  If we knew God like Elijah knew God – we would never fear the temporal issues of today’s world.

What is really interesting, ironic even, about the story I read earlier in 1 Samuel 4, is how Israel was defeated by the Philistines.  After one rousing battle, they called up the Ark and went to battle with the Ark of the Lord.  They were using it like a superstitious amulet.  God didn’t ask them to do this, instead they were kindling their own fire.

As the battle raged, Eli trembled in fear.  What was he afraid of?  He was afraid for the Ark.  But if that was God’s Ark, and God dwelt there, he shouldn’t have feared.  After the defeat, Eli died.  Eli didn’t really know God.

My fear and respect have to be in God – not myself, or man-made institutions!

Prayer:

Father God.  It’s really all about you, isn’t it.  Not me, but you.  Continue to teach me how to fear and respect you.  Continue to teach me how to not fear the financial insecurity and darkness that lies ahead.

Thanks – I love you too!

It Could Happen, Even if You don’t Believe it!

Scripture:

2 Kings 6:21-23 When the king of Israel saw them, he shouted to Elisha, “My father, should I kill them? Should I kill them?” “Of course not!” Elisha replied. “Do we kill prisoners of war? Give them food and drink and send them home again to their master.” So the king made a great feast for them and then sent them home to their master. After that, the Aramean raiders stayed away from the land of Israel.

2 Kings 7:2 The officer assisting the king said to the man of God, “That couldn’t happen even if the Lord opened the windows of heaven!”

2 Kings 7:32 Jehoshaphat was a good king, following the ways of his father, Asa. He did what was pleasing in the Lord’s sight. ³³ During his reign, however, he failed to remove all the pagan shrines, and the people never fully committed themselves to follow the God of their ancestors.

Observations:

There is a lot of history in 2 Kings 6 & 7, not to mention the other passages in today’s reading.  However, the above three selections capture some of the essence of what was going on in these times.

The story of the Arameans surrounding Israel, the servant being scared, and Elisha asking God to reveal the unseen armies is amazing al by itself.  However, then for God to make the Aramean army blind and for Elisha to lead them into Samaria – once again stunning.  But the capstone of this story is when Elisha tells the king to feed them and send them home.  From that point forward, they never had problems with the Arameans again.

While the juxtoposition of Jehoshaphat’s officer telling Elisha that God was incable of accomplishing something, doesn’t apply directly to this story, I couldn’t help but include it.  How often do we hear this from others?

The final text I included above gives us a summary of Jehoshaphat’s reign.  It was a good one, however, because of his willingness to tolerate a certain amount of idolatry, “the people never fully committed themselves to follow the God of their ancestors.”

Applications:

First, I never have to fear the forces that are marshalled around me.  God has armies that I may not be able to see.  In the case of Elisha and the Arameans, He may choose not to use those armies.  He may simply cause them to go blind.  Or in the case of Moses and the Egyptians, God may actually harden the heart of the leader (Pharaoh) and cause them to attack with even more vengence – but either way, He rescued His people.

Second, by treating His enemies with kindness, Elisha and the Israelites never had trouble with the Arameans again.

Third, don’t believe the naysayers.  It doesn’t matter how outnumbered, outwitted, or outflanked we are, God can still do amzaing things.

Finally, and this one really applies to me as a Dad – don’t hesitate to get rid of all the idolatry in one’s life.  Jehoshaphat didn’t, and the people never reached the pinacle of believing and devotion.

Prayer:

Father God, today, I put my trust in you.  Draw me close to you…

Do I Speak Out?

Scripture:

James 2:1,5 My dear brothers and sisters,s how can you claim to have faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ if you favor some people over others?

5 Listen to me, dear brothers and sisters. Hasn’t God chosen the poor in this world to be rich in faith? Aren’t they the ones who will inherit the Kingdom he promised to those who love him?6 But you dishonor the poor! Isn’t it the rich who oppress you and drag you into court?7 Aren’t they the ones who slander Jesus Christ, whose noble names you bear?

Observations:

It is amazing that these texts would come up today.  This is exactly the point I’ve been trying to make with my overseers. It appears that the educated, affluent, and apparently “put-together” people have more honor than the more marginal people of the church.  Those that hold positions of leadership, those that exhibit the least amount of brokenness, and those who seem to have the fewest problems are given more of a voice than the disenfranchised, the broken, and the marginalized.

And yet James tells us here that it is the poor who will inherit the Kingdom and it is the rich who oppress and slander the Lord’s name.

Applications:

Up until lately I have allowed myself to be put on the defensive.  I’ve tried to explain my actions and motives in a way that caused the least amount of push back.  I’ve tried hard to be politically correct and temperate in my words and actions.  However, about a week ago, I was impressed that I need to go on the offensive.  The scary part is that one begins to look like some lunatic fanatic.

But what great prophet of God hasn’t looked foolish?  What great prophet hasn’t experienced some great opposition, or been ostracized?  Virtually all of them have.  When the people of God have gotten so far off track that they required a strong voice to bring them back in alignment, the voice “crying in the wilderness” has often come from one who appears waaaay out there!

I don’t want to be that guy.  I just want to be a normal soul – I just want to walk in the shadows and not make waves.  However, this “gift” of discernment opens my eyes to the things around me.  I see the brokenness, I see the successes, I see the victories, and I see the failures.  I see the Spirit of God moving, but I see the mediocrity that has taken hold.  I wish I could keep my mouth shut.  However, God has also given me this gift/strength of Command (e.g. the ability to tell people what they don’t want to hear.)

Most of the great prophets of the Bible were willing to lose their lives over the messages God gave them.  Abraham was willing to sacrifice his son.  And here I am, worried about my employment.  It makes me feel weak and foolish.

Prayer:

Father God, just for today, give me the strength, courage, and wisdom to do the right thing.  Let me not overstep my boundaries and let me not understep them either.  You alone are the holder of Truth – in fact, you are Truth.  Please let me reflect You, Your character, and your Love in perfect balance – even though I am an imperfect vessel.

Forgive me for my failures, forgive me for my mediocrity, and forgive me for stepping out of line.  I love you Jesus.  Walk with me…

Psalm 62

1 I wait quietly before God,
for my victory comes from him.
2 He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress where I will never be shaken.

3 So many enemies against one man—
all of them trying to kill me.
To them I’m just a broken-down wall
or a tottering fence.
4 They plan to topple me from my high position.
They delight in telling lies about me.
They praise me to my face
but curse me in their hearts.     Interlude

5 Let all that I am wait quietly before God,
for my hope is in him.
6 He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress where I will not be shaken.
7 My victory and honor come from God alone.
He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me.
8 O my people, trust in him at all times.
Pour out your heart to him,
for God is our refuge.     Interlude

9 Common people are as worthless as a puff of wind,
and the powerful are not what they appear to be.
If you weigh them on the scales,
together they are lighter than a breath of air.

10 Don’t make your living by extortion
or put your hope in stealing.
And if your wealth increases,
don’t make it the center of your life.

11 God has spoken plainly,
and I have heard it many times:
Power, O God, belongs to you;
12 unfailing love, O Lord, is yours.
Surely you repay all people
according to what they have done.

To lead a quiet life…

Scripture:

1 Thessalonians 4:11,12 -¹¹Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, ¹²so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.

Observations:

I’ve read the passages following these verses many times.  But, often, I’m reading them at a funeral or memorial service.  Rarely have I taken the time to read the whole chapter – or, sadly, book – in context.

To me, these verses reflect well what is said in Micah 6:8 and Psalm 46:10.

This peaceful and quiet life glorifies God.

Applications:

Much of my life has been spent running the rat race.  I’ve not been trying to keep up with, or stay ahead of others, per se.  But I have been trying to stay ahead of the demons in my soul.  Somehow I believed that if I was victorious in merit, my life would have worth.

As I’ve drawn nearer to my Lord and Savior, I’ve found that my merit comes from being a child of God.  I’ve also discovered that my time on this Earth, in these circumstances, is quite short – based on an eternal timeline.  Anything I accomplish here, now, is temporary.

Travel, accomplishments, comfort, attainments, and success – these are all measured on a scale – for most of society – that has set a shortsighted view on life.  Anything I accomplish here – on this Earth – will be destroyed.  Instead, as an eternal citizen of the Kingdom, I want to prepare for that life – which has already began.

The grief I seem to be receiving now, feels as if it is revolving around this issue.  I would like to see His kids step into a slower, more peaceful life.  A life of spiritual growth, harmony, unity, and community.  Yet, for some reason, this seems distasteful to some.

Prayer:

Father God, just for today, let me walk, your narrow way.

Blessings and Curses

Scripture:

Deuteronomy 29:14-15 “But you are not the only ones with whom I am making this covenant with its curses. ¹⁵ I am making this covenant both with you who stand here today in the presence of the Lord our God, and also with the future generations who are not standing here today.

Observations:

I see “tough love” in these two chapters of Deuteronomy. If we walk with God, we will be blessed.  If we don’t, He can’t bless us – in fact, He may actually have to bring curses on us.  But why?  Why would a loving God curse us?  Why would a loving God hurt us?  Why would a loving God allow us to experience pain, death, and destruction?

Applications:

Last week, I spanked my daughter.  She needed to be spanked.  She needed to be disciplined.  She needed to suffer some consequences for her actions.  Afterward, though I have no qualms about what I did, I hurt.  I grieved the loss of her innocence, late into the night.  It really did hurt me more than it hurt her.  But I hated doing it.  Hated it.

However, I would rather have her hurt now, than suffer when she is older and the consequences are greater.

I believe God shares these views with me – but to a greater extent.

Prayer:

Father God – please forgive me for doubting You and teach me to accept you for who You are.