When was the last time you were afraid of God?

Intro:

Continuing in my process through the God Encounters book – today, chapter 2.4

Questions:

• What part of your life forgets to tremble?

I don’t tremble.  I haven’t trembled in years.  It’s not who I am.  I fix things – if something is scary, I fix it, subdue it, avoid it, or crush it.  I’m not saying this is the best way to handle things, it’s just what I’ve learned.  If I can’t fix it, I get a bigger hammer.

As I write that, I’m impressed to explore the suppress, subdue, and/or crush scenario.  Hmmm…

So, I suppose the answer is- in all aspects.

Whoa. Note to self: Need some work here.  This is a spiritual discipline that I not only need to work on, but I didn’t know it existed.

• When was the last time you were afraid of God?  What caused your fear?

As mentioned in the book, maybe we’ve done such a good job rejecting Jonathan Edwards’ Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God, that we’ve forgotten that fear and trembling are OK.

However, I think I’m afraid now.  Afraid that God won’t live up to the promises I cling to.  Will He really take care of us?  Will He really shield us from persecution?  Will He really see us through this mess?

We only have enough money for two more house payments.  What happens God?  What happens next?  Did we hear you wrong?  Did we misunderstand?  What if our theology is wrong?  Will you still take care of us?

Over the past several months, since my Smiling Son was weaned, I’ve had the delightful opportunity to develop a deeper relationship with him.  It’s really been fun, exciting, rewarding, and meaningful.  There have been times where I can tell that he just adores me.  However, something happened recently.  Mommy and Darling Daughter went to an event and it was just the boys at home.  Suddenly, he got shy, timid, and maybe even a bit afraid of his Dad.

I was taken aback some.  He hadn’t acted that way with me ever.  Of course I adapted, but it was obvious that he was still quite attached to his Mommy and hadn’t quite developed that trust level with me yet.  It was as if he was looking at me, thinking, “Do you have what it takes to take care of me?  Do you know where the food and diapers are?  What if I start crying?  Will you be able to handle that?  Maybe you ought to call Mommy right now – just in case?  Maybe you ought to get her over here… um, now – just in case I start crying or something.”

So how did I handle this?  Well, a less secure parent might have been hurt and wounded to the core.  I could have taken it as an affront to my competence – or worse, as a doubting of my unconditional love of him.  But I didn’t.  I realized this was his issue, not mine.  I backed off and gave him some space.  I dialed up the fun quotient and turned on the attraction.  IOW, attraction, not promotion.  It had moderate success.  We didn’t end up with a wailing toddler begging for his Mommy – but he was sure glad when Mommy got home.

Where did I learn this? From watching others.

I’ve watched people who seemingly adore children or pets.  They walk in the door and immediately they want said children to snuggle with them.  But, um, those said children don’t know this stranger.  They have no relationship – no trust.  The kids hang back in apparent shyness.  My mother was one of those people – loved kids and was dying to snuggle with them.  Kids avoided her.

What I do is basically ignore the kids.  Say hi, smile gently, but don’t try to touch them (handshake, high-5, etc) – just focus on the tasks at hand, or the adults I came to see.  Before too long, the kids are my friend.  Same with pets – but for different reasons.  I’m not naturally drawn to other people’s dogs (especially yappy, little dogs) – or cats.  But by ignoring them, pretty soon all cats end up in my lap. (sigh)

Since that experience with my Smiling Son, we have continued to grow our relationship.  In fact when I ran a quick errand to the store Friday afternoon, he caught my attention, thumped his chest and said, “Me? Me?”  He desperately wanted to go with me – and we had a great time together.

So, here’s how I see it.

I’m hanging back, wondering: “Are you up for this God?  Do you know where the food is?  What if I start crying?  Will you know what I need?  What if I misbehave, are you going to whack me?”  Where’s this going?  Is Mommy ever coming back?  No one consulted me on this change?  I’m not so sure I can really trust you…“

Is it possible that God has adopted an attraction model also?  Is He just waiting for me to come to Him?

I think so.  I believe I don’t need to be afraid.

Before my kids could talk – and long before they could even begin to express why they were crying – they still had needs.  As a parent Dad (Mom’s have an intuitive skill/knowledge – they just know.  I always skipped the 20 questions and just asked the Mom – it was quicker), it is our job to play 20 questions and figure out why they’re crying.  But here’s the deal – just because I couldn’t figure out what was wrong, that didn’t mean that I abandoned my kids.  Even if I didn’t understand their pleas, I didn’t leave them to their own devices.

But also, children never stop asking until they get what they need.  And in those early years, they get everything they ask for.  When they get older, they try to get more than they need – and we, as parents, use our judgement to determine whether they need it or not.  We look at the big picture, the little picture, the needs vs. wants, the treat vs. spoiling, the special occasion vs. routine, and so on, and so forth, et cetera, blah, blah, blah…

My conclusion on this. It is my “job” to ask.  It is God’s job to answer.  Sometimes I’m the one-year old and sometimes I’m the 13-year old.  Sometimes I cry and babble inconsolably – sometimes I throw a tantrum – and sometimes I want something that is not only unnecessary, but downright harmful.

If I really need it, He will give it to me.  If I don’t need it – He will think about it.  If it is harmful, he won’t let me have it.

• What strikes profound reverence or awe in you? Explain.
  

Impossible answers to prayer always amaze me.  Either physically impossible, or psychic impossibilities.

10 years ago I was running out of money, soon to be married, and at a dead-end.  As I surrendered that, God showed up in the form of an email offering me a job.  All I could do is weep.

A year later, while going through the one-week church planter assessment process, I was at a crossroads in my life.  I had moved to Michigan to attend the seminary, but I wasn’t convicted that I was staying – so I didn’t unpack.  I attended church planting assessment and seminary orientation at the same time.  Towards the end of the week, while having some QT3 with God, I felt His presence.  It was intense, for it felt like He’d been silent for over nine months.  Since calling me into full-time ministry, I hadn’t really heard from Him.  But that day He showed up.

It was as if He had His hand on my shoulder and was saying, “I’ve been here the whole time.” I knew in that moment that I would be staying in the seminary and not doing a church plant anytime soon.  When the church planting assessment team sat down with me the next day to tell me the same thing, I just nodded my head knowingly.

It is these moments that inspire awe.

So here’s a self-devised question: Why can’t I anticipate that awe?  Why not act as if?  As if the answer has already been received – and start doing the awe thing already.

When my kids see me do something that would be impossible to them, they stand there, mouths agape, laughing, giggling, and begging me to do it again.  So, once again I toss the orange in the air and bounce it off my bicep and back into my hand.  Over and over, and they laugh.

• How would you define the difference between the fear the disciples experienced and the fear being advocated in Deuteronomy 10?

The disciples were afraid, God asks us to revere Him.

• In what ways can fearing and loving God happen simultaneously?  Can you love God and yet fear Him?  Explain.

Probably – or He wouldn’t have asked us to do it.

Questions like this reveal the superficiality of my faith.

Prayer:

Father God – take me to a deeper level – please.  Oh, you are?  Yeah, I was afraid of that…

Discussion:

Saturday night while cooking dinner, I put my iPod on random to play on the home stereo.  Whenever I do this, I pray that God will direct the music selections.  He always comes through.  The following song came on – it comes from the first Jars of Clay album that was pretty much my theme from 1995 to 1999.  This song, as I listened to it the other night, is a prayer I’ve been praying for several years.  The Lord is in the midst of answering this prayer.

Scary? YES!

Needed? Yes.

Trusting? I’m learning?

Beauty

Image via Wikipedia

The last few months have been difficult.  That’s putting it mildly.  God gave me a message and a vision for my church, but it didn’t involve those who would like to think of themselves as leaders.  Instead, it involved the marginalized, the broken, the un-churched.  The vision was a for a passionate, deep, transforming relationship with Jesus.  Deeper than anything a mere knowledge of the “truth” could ever bring.  This kind of transformation only comes about through much fasting and prayer.  This type of transformation only comes when we quit trying on our own strength.

As I’ve been hiding out in Adullam’s Cave, I had this urge to read what Jeremiah wrote.  The more I read, the more discouraged I became.  I wasn’t reading about a world 3000 years ago.  I was reading about today – and it isn’t good.  I can’t bear the weight of that knowledge anymore.  I had to let it go.

So, I attempted to go back to my regular Bible reading and journaling format.  But even that led me into Ezekiel and other prophetic words of doom and conviction.  Like Elijah, I just wanted to rest on the banks of the brook Cheroth and rest.  I imagine though that in Elijah’s resting, there was hurt, dismay, mistrust, anger – I’m pretty sure he wallowed in the words God gave him and the unfairness of the leadership.  He may have even poured over the words of the prophecy.

“Did I miss something,” he wonders. “Did I misunderstand what God wanted me to say?  Maybe I was too harsh?  Not harsh enough?  Maybe I shouldn’t have run away – should I have stayed and fought for the people?  What about my family?  My cousins, brothers?  Uncles?  Oh my, what have I done?!”

For the past week or two, I’ve felt impressed that I need to find a morning worship tool that is refreshing and uplifting.  I began to look for my copy of the God Encounters book - a devotional/discipling book, co-written by some friends of mine.  But it wasn’t showing up.  Then I found it.  I promptly plopped down on the couch in my office and started reading where I left off – chapter 2.  Here is my journey…

◊◊◊◊◊ ◊◊◊◊ ◊◊◊ ◊◊ ◊

Encounter

◊ The secret is out. What difference is it going to make in your life today?

As I read the preceding pages, about God’s love through the creative process.  At first, it was just words.  “So what?”  I said.  He did that with everyone – billions of people.  That doesn’t make me special.  It’s almost like a factory…  billions of people, knit together, next!

But then it hit me.  I don’t feel that way about my kids.  Each of them is special in their very own way.  They were conceived in love – they are surrounded by grace.  They are cherished, adored, and very precious.  I feel that way about my family too – especially my nephew and nieces – not to the depth of my own kids, but pretty significant, nonetheless.

I don’t have the capacity, or the time, to love billions – but why do I doubt that He does?  I’m not so sure I doubt – it’s more like unfathomable.  I just can’t wrap my head around that.  Intellectually, I get it.  Emotionally, for some reason I feel like I’m in fourth grade again, being picked last for kickball and standing ignored in the corner of the gym.

◊ What perceptions have changed for you?  What can no longer be the same with what you now know?

Suddenly, I see the teacher looking my way.  Though I’m standing forgotten in the corner, the one in charge sees me.  One time, he came over and urged me to step into the fray.  Another time, he pointed me out to one of the team captains who was picking teams.  And still another time, he took me into his office as I cried hot teardrops of brokenness.

My God sees me.  He knows me.  He loves me – just as I am.

◊ What difference will this secret make in your life the next time you worship (alone or with people)?

Just thinking about it makes me want to worship.  I want to express my love to Him for being the lover He is.  The fullness in my chest is bursting.

◊ Why is this secret so important to living a life of God encounters?

I believe it has much to do with legalism vs. grace.  If I worship God because I have to, it is worthless.  But if I worship Him because I want to – well, that is love.

• What experiences have you had that inspired awe in you?
  • Awe can be an illusive thing.  But there have been moments:
    • When I was out of money, in seminary, ready to get married, and out of the blue I’m hired by the Rocky Mountain Conference – I wept.
    • When I had been asked to take a position in Rwanda, and after debating over it for weeks, finally I surrendered to the possibility, and God said no.  That not only brought awe, but pause.
    • Sitting on the shore of Glacier Bay, Alaska – the last morning there.  The water was like a mirror of unblemished glass, a lone wolf watched me, dolphins circled the bay, and the mountains rose is mighty and spectacular majesty.  I could only whisper, “wow.”
    • The night before, in Glacier Bay, there was a bright moon, the most spectacular Aurora Borealis that had been seen in years, a pack of wolves howling, dolphins in the bay, and the ubiquitous stars.  Magical – purely magical.
    • When my kids were born – truly stunning, humbling, awe-inspiring.
• Top five most beautiful things:
  • My kids born
  • Glacier Bay
  • Top of Mt. Whitney – with the sun rising and moon setting simultaneously.
  • The starry night from an isolated fired in Baja
  • An empty snowfield in an isolated Cascade mountain.
• Who do you enjoy sharing beautiful things with?  What motivates you to bring it to their attention?

This question baffled me a bit.  It’s like asking a man, “How do you feel?”  I don’t know the answer to that question.  Ask me what I’m thinking about and I might have more success…might.

I like to share beautiful things with my wife, my kids, those close to me – especially if they appreciate it.

But what motivates me?  Hmmmm.  I guess it would be the opportunity to make a connection.

• What might you imagine was God’s intention in creating beauty?

Well played Yoda.  You set me up with these questions.

I can only imagine that God is looking to establish a connection with us.  Which makes me think.  Instead of just sharing beauty with those in my physical realm, wouldn’t it be neat to enjoin God into the conversation – and vice versa.

IOW, sometimes, I just want to get out on my own and commune with God.  Share the beautiful sunrise with Him.  Enjoy the quiet of the awakening birds with Him.  But what if I brought my kids and taught them to appreciate God’s beauty – with God – and with me?  Or, vice versa, if I’m at the beach with my kids and I see something beautiful, what if I pointed it out to God first, and then my family?

hmmmmm…..

Prayer:

Father God.  Teach me to be more aware of your presence in my life.  Teach me to understand you, appreciate you, commune with you, and to walk with you.

Jesus Would be Hanging Out at Starbucks

Scripture:

Luke 15:1-2

1 Tax collectors and other notorious sinners often came to listen to Jesus teach. 2 This made the Pharisees and teachers of religious law complain that he was associating with such sinful people—even eating with them!

Observations:

Jesus associated with the unchurched, but why? Isn’t a pastor supposed to keep the flock?  And yet here he is, in the taverns, on the streets, hanging out at Starbucks.  So, that caused the Pharisees and other teachers of the Law to complain.

Applications:

I got heat for my time online – over 60% of Western Civilization is online.  I got heat for being in stores – and yet, what better place to find people?  I was given grief for being at Starbucks all the time – but that’s where the current culture gathers.  Bottom line is, they wanted me to take care of them.  But I saw my job as reaching out to the unchurched.  Those two views did not merge well.

Prayer:

Lord, may I never lose passion for those who don’t know you.

Superficial Treatments

Scripture	Observations/Paraphrase	Application
Jeremiah 8	September 11, 2009
1 “In that day,” says the Lord , “the enemy will break open the graves of the kings and officials of Judah, and the graves of the priests, prophets, and common people of Jerusalem.2 They will spread out their bones on the ground before the sun, moon, and stars—the gods my people have loved, served, and worshiped. Their bones will not be gathered up again or buried but will be scattered on the ground like manure.3 And the people of this evil nation who survive will wish to die rather than live where I will send them. I, the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, have spoken! Deception by False Prophets 4 “Jeremiah, say to the people, `This is what the Lord says: “`When people fall down, don’t they get up again? When they discover they’re on the wrong road, don’t they turn back? 5 Then why do these people stay on their self-destructive path? Why do the people of Jerusalem refuse to turn back? They cling tightly to their lies and will not turn around. 6 I listen to their conversations and don’t hear a word of truth. Is anyone sorry for doing wrong? Does anyone say, “What a terrible thing I have done”? No! All are running down the path of sin as swiftly as a horse galloping into battle! 7 Even the stork that flies across the sky knows the time of her migration, as do the turtledove, the swallow, and the crane.s They all return at the proper time each year. But not my people! They do not know the Lord ’s laws. 8 “`How can you say, “We are wise because we have the word of the Lord ,” when your teachers have twisted it by writing lies? 9 These wise teachers will fall into the trap of their own foolishness, for they have rejected the word of the Lord . Are they so wise after all? 10 I will give their wives to others and their farms to strangers. From the least to the greatest, their lives are ruled by greed. Yes, even my prophets and priests are like that. They are all frauds. 11 They offer superficial treatments for my people’s mortal wound. They give assurances of peace when there is no peace. 12 Are they ashamed of these disgusting actions? Not at all—they don’t even know how to blush! Therefore, they will lie among the slaughtered. They will be brought down when I punish them, says the Lord . 13 I will surely consume them. There will be no more harvests of figs and grapes. Their fruit trees will all die. Whatever I gave them will soon be gone. I, the Lord , have spoken!’ 14 “Then the people will say, `Why should we wait here to die? Come, let’s go to the fortified towns and die there. For the Lord our God has decreed our destruction and has given us a cup of poison to drink because we sinned against the Lord . 15 We hoped for peace, but no peace came. We hoped for a time of healing, but found only terror.’ 16 “The snorting of the enemies’ warhorses can be heard all the way from the land of Dan in the north! The neighing of their stallions makes the whole land tremble. They are coming to devour the land and everything in it— cities and people alike. 17 I will send these enemy troops among you like poisonous snakes you cannot charm. They will bite you, and you will die. I, the Lord, have spoken!” Jeremiah Weeps for Sinful Judah 18 My grief is beyond healing; my heart is broken. 19 Listen to the weeping of my people; it can be heard all across the land. “Has the Lord abandoned Jerusalem?s” the people ask. “Is her King no longer there?” “Oh, why have they provoked my anger with their carved idols and their worthless foreign gods?” says the Lord . 20 “The harvest is finished, and the summer is gone,” the people cry, “yet we are not saved!” 21 I hurt with the hurt of my people. I mourn and am overcome with grief. 22 Is there no medicine in Gilead? Is there no physician there? Why is there no healing for the wounds of my people?	Jeremiah speaks of their graves being desecrated by their enemies.  Those that survive will wish to die, rather than to go where God is sending them. God says, “When they fall down, don’t they get up again?  When they discover they’re on the wrong road, don’t they turn back?  Then why won’t these people turn from their self-destructive path?  Why do they refuse to turn back and cling tightly to their lies?” God says that He listens to their conversations but doesn’t hear a word of truth.  Is anyone sorry for doing wrong?  Does anyone say what a terrible thing they have done?  No.  All are running down the path of sin – as swiftly as a horse galloping into battle! Even the migrating birds know when it is time to come home.  But not God’s people.  They do not know God’s laws. They say, “We are wise because we have the word of the Lord. – but your teachers have twisted it by writing lies.  These wise teachers will fall into the trap of their own foolishness – for they have rejected the word of the Lord. Are they really so wise after all? God will give their property to strangers, their lives are ruled by greed. Yes, even the prophets and priests are like that – they are all frauds. They offer superficial treatments for my people’s moral wound.  They offer assurances of peace, when there is no peace. Are they ashamed?  Not at all.  They don’t even know how to blush. “The harvest is finished,  and the summer is gone,” the people cry,  “yet we are not saved!” Jeremiah weeps.  His heart is broken.  He says: “I hurt with the hurt of my people.   I mourn and am overcome with grief. Is there no medicine in Gilead?  Is there no physician there?  Why is there no healing  for the wounds of my people?”	I have been resisting/avoiding my continued reading in Jeremiah.  It’s just too heavy, to sad, and too overwhelming.  The scenes are just too similar to our current situations. As I’ve gone through the paths I’ve been walking lately, I somehow expected the logic of the situations to spring forth and the attacks on me would stop.  But they didn’t, and they haven’t.  Jeremiah and God faced this – the people just continue to cling to the lies. Spiritual blinders.  The more God cried out through Jeremiah, the more the people refused to listen.  Does this say something about their true heart? God isn’t hearing truth spoken. Normally, when I have an encounter with God, a couple of things happen. First, I see the beauty of God and I want to draw close to Him. Next, I see my own inadequacy, and I am ashamed. Third, I am enveloped by God’s grace, and I am broken. His love then steps into my life to raise me from that brokenness. Finally, I am left with a great evangelistic zeal – I want everyone to experience what I’ve experienced? But God’s people say they are wise, but they only twist the words and fall into traps of their own doing. Are we really wise? Even the leaders are this way – they offer superficial treatments for mortal wounds.  But are they ashamed?  Not at all. They don’t even know how to blush!
Prayer

Father God.  These are hard passages and they make me concerned about my family.  Teach me how to care for your entire family.

G

Original Document

Cave of Adullam

Scripture	Observations/Paraphrase	Application
Psalm 62	September 3, 2009
For Jeduthun, the choir director: A psalm of David. 1 I wait quietly before God, for my victory comes from him. 2 He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will never be shaken. 3 So many enemies against one man— all of them trying to kill me. To them I’m just a broken-down wall or a tottering fence. 4 They plan to topple me from my high position. They delight in telling lies about me. They praise me to my face but curse me in their hearts.     Interlude 5 Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him. 6 He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken. 7 My victory and honor come from God alone. He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me. 8 O my people, trust in him at all times. Pour out your heart to him, for God is our refuge.     Interlude 9 Common people are as worthless as a puff of wind, and the powerful are not what they appear to be. If you weigh them on the scales, together they are lighter than a breath of air. 10 Don’t make your living by extortion or put your hope in stealing. And if your wealth increases, don’t make it the center of your life. 11 God has spoken plainly, and I have heard it many times: Power, O God, belongs to you; 12 unfailing love, O Lord, is yours. Surely you repay all people according to what they have done.	I wait quietly before God, for it is from Him that my victory comes.  He alone is my rock and my salvation – my fortress where I will never be shaken. So many enemies against one man – all of them trying to kill me.  To them, I’m just a broken down wall, or a tottering fence.  They plan to topple me from my high position.  They delight in telling lies about me.  They praise me to my face, but curse me in their hearts. Let all  that I am, wait quietly before God – for my hope is in Him.  He alone is my rock and my salvation.  My fortress where I will not be shaken.  My victory and honor come from God alone.  He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me. Oh people, trust in Him at all times.  Pour out your heart to Him – for God is our refuge. Common people are as worthless as a puff of wind, and the powerful are not what they appear to be.  If you weigh them on the scales, together they are lighter than a breath of air. Don’t make your living by extortion or put your hope in stealing.  If your wealth increases, don’t make it the center of your life. God has spoken plainly and I have heard  it many times.  Power, oh God, belongs to you – unfailing love, oh Lord, is yours.  Surely you repay all people according to what they have done.	I have wanted to really get into Jeremiah’s story for about the last 9-10 months.  And it’s been longer than that where I have been asking the question, “Is there room for an Ezekiel, or a Jeremiah, in today’s church?”  The answer that comes back to me, through prayer, through others, and through outright common sense, is no – there is not room for a prophet that calls for repentance in today’s church. And yet, I have felt led to push forward with this message.  I didn’t want to.  But, like Jeremiah, I had to. Undoubtedly, I’ve been treated far better than most of the prophets in the Bible. [NOTE: I'm not saying I'm a prophet, but I do believe that I have been called to share a message - big difference.  I'm just using the word/label: prophet for comparison purposes] Most of God’s messengers were killed, imprisoned, maimed, beaten, stoned, etc.  The only thing  that has happened to me is that I’ve lost my job – and any sense of security that has gone along with that. Yesterday’s reading of Jeremiah 7 really rocked me.  Seeing the comparisons of todays secular and church cultures, to the times of Jeremiah, well it was scary really. But today, after three surgeries in three weeks, a loss of income, finding nothing but job-seeking dead-ends – well, I am just spent. Like David, my only strength is in God. I do feel attacked on every level. The move out here, was hard, then my wife got sick – few people either understood that, or were sympathetic.  As I focused on taking care of her, I let some tasks slide – but apparently that was unacceptable. I feel as if I’ve been labeled a liar, a cheat, a thief.  I feel as if people have decided that I am evil.  I feel as if they seek to take revenge on me by denying reimbursements, withholding financial remunerations, and making me jump through hoops   which I neither have the time, the energy, or the will to do right now. I’ve been scrambling to take care of medical issues, before we loose healthcare insurance.  I’ve been applying for work, networking, and seeking financial avenues.  I’ve been trying to work with our bank, the state, and other agencies as I seek to find a way out of this financial morass that we have being sucked into. But in the meantime, it feels as if the very people who should be sympathetic to our issues, are putting more pressures on us to prove ourselves for every dime.  There appears to be little or no sympathy, no mercy, and definitely no charity. I feel increasingly backed into a corner.  Beaten down.  Exhausted.  It is just really hard.  The Church, at this point in my life, definitely looks more like Jeremiah 7 then it does John 4. Lord, you are my only strength.
Prayer

Today God – just for today.  I just couldn’t read anymore of Jeremiah.  I felt impressed, by You, yesterday, to just take some time in the Cave of Adullam – to rest, recharge, and renew.  That is hard for me to do right now God.  There are so many pressing issues.  So many priorities, and so many deadlines looming.  But like the text that Jennifer read yesterday, you have promised to take care of us – so, I am leaning on you today God – please take care of us.

I need to let go of those who consider me an enemy.  I need to let go of those who seek to do me harm.  My friend told me they would seek to murder me, if they found out what I really stood for.  He was right.  It has been really hard – very unexpected – and very damaging.  Please help us God – please help us.

G

Original

Created for God’s Glory

Scripture	Observations/Paraphrase	Application
Jeremiah 4	August 19, 2009
1 “O Israel,” says the Lord , “if you wanted to return to me, you could. You could throw away your detestable idols and stray away no more. 2 Then when you swear by my name, saying, `As surely as the Lord lives,’ you could do so with truth, justice, and righteousness. Then you would be a blessing to the nations of the world, and all people would come and praise my name.” Coming Judgment against Judah 3 This is what the Lord says to the people of Judah and Jerusalem: “Plow up the hard ground of your hearts! Do not waste your good seed among thorns. 4 O people of Judah and Jerusalem, surrender your pride and power. Change your hearts before the Lord ,s or my anger will burn like an unquenchable fire because of all your sins. 5 “Shout to Judah, and broadcast to Jerusalem! Tell them to sound the alarm throughout the land: `Run for your lives! Flee to the fortified cities!’ 6 Raise a signal flag as a warning for Jerusalem: `Flee now! Do not delay!’ For I am bringing terrible destruction upon you from the north.” 7 A lion stalks from its den, a destroyer of nations. It has left its lair and is headed your way. It’s going to devastate your land! Your towns will lie in ruins, with no one living in them anymore. 8 So put on clothes of mourning and weep with broken hearts, for the fierce anger of the Lord is still upon us. 9 “In that day,” says the Lord , “the king and the officials will tremble in fear. The priests will be struck with horror, and the prophets will be appalled.” 10 Then I said, “O Sovereign Lord , the people have been deceived by what you said, for you promised peace for Jerusalem. But the sword is held at their throats!” 11 The time is coming when the Lord will say to the people of Jerusalem, “My dear people, a burning wind is blowing in from the desert, and it’s not a gentle breeze useful for winnowing grain. 12 It is a roaring blast sent by me! Now I will pronounce your destruction!” 13 Our enemy rushes down on us like storm clouds! His chariots are like whirlwinds. His horses are swifter than eagles. How terrible it will be, for we are doomed! 14 O Jerusalem, cleanse your heart that you may be saved. How long will you harbor your evil thoughts? 15 Your destruction has been announced from Dan and the hill country of Ephraim. 16 “Warn the surrounding nations and announce this to Jerusalem: The enemy is coming from a distant land, raising a battle cry against the towns of Judah. 17 They surround Jerusalem like watchmen around a field, for my people have rebelled against me,” says the Lord . 18 “Your own actions have brought this upon you. This punishment is bitter, piercing you to the heart!” Jeremiah Weeps for His People 19 My heart, my heart—I writhe in pain! My heart pounds within me! I cannot be still. For I have heard the blast of enemy trumpets and the roar of their battle cries. 20 Waves of destruction roll over the land, until it lies in complete desolation. Suddenly my tents are destroyed; in a moment my shelters are crushed. 21 How long must I see the battle flags and hear the trumpets of war? 22 “My people are foolish and do not know me,” says the Lord . “They are stupid children who have no understanding. They are clever enough at doing wrong, but they have no idea how to do right!” Jeremiah’s Vision of Coming Disaster 23 I looked at the earth, and it was empty and formless. I looked at the heavens, and there was no light. 24 I looked at the mountains and hills, and they trembled and shook. 25 I looked, and all the people were gone. All the birds of the sky had flown away. 26 I looked, and the fertile fields had become a wilderness. The towns lay in ruins, crushed by the Lord ’s fierce anger. 27 This is what the Lord says: “The whole land will be ruined, but I will not destroy it completely. 28 The earth will mourn and the heavens will be draped in black because of my decree against my people. I have made up my mind and will not change it.” 29 At the noise of charioteers and archers, the people flee in terror. They hide in the bushes and run for the mountains. All the towns have been abandoned— not a person remains! 30 What are you doing, you who have been plundered? Why do you dress up in beautiful clothing and put on gold jewelry? Why do you brighten your eyes with mascara? Your primping will do you no good! The allies who were your lovers despise you and seek to kill you. 31 I hear a cry, like that of a woman in labor, the groans of a woman giving birth to her first child. It is beautiful Jerusalem gasping for breath and crying out, “Help! I’m being murdered!”	The Lord says that Jerusalem is welcome to return at anytime.  Just throw away the idols and don’t stray anymore. If you do so, with truth, justice, and righteousness – you will be a blessing to the nations of the world – and all the people will come and praise my name. God says this to Judah and Jerusalem.  Don’t waste your seed among thorns.  Surrender your pride and power.  Change your hearts, or my anger will burn like an unquenchable fire. Shout, and sound the alarm!  Run for your lives, flee to the fortified cities.  Flee now, do not delay.  Terrible destruction is coming from the North. A lion stalks, headed your way to devastate your land.  Your towns will lie in ruin – no one will live in them anymore. Put on clothes of mourning and weep with broken hearts.  The fierce anger of the Lord is upon us. In that day, the leaders will tremble in fear.  The pastors will be struck with horror.  The prophets will be appalled. But, the people have been deceived.  Peace was promised, but the sword is at their throats. A time is coming, “My dear people,” a burning wind is blowing – not a gentle breeze, it is a roaring blast sent by God – “Now I will pronounce your destruction.” The enemy rushes down on us like storm clouds.  Fast, swift, and terrible.  We are doomed. Oh Jerusalem, cleanse your heart that you may be saved.  Don’t harbor evil thoughts.  Your destruction will be announced from the hilltops. Warn the surrounding nations and announce this.  The enemy is coming from a distant land, they will surround us.  My people have rebelled against God. “Your own actions brought this upon you – this punishment is bitter, piercing you to the heart.” Jeremiah weeps and writhes in pain.  My heart pounds – I cannot be still.  I have heard the blast of the trumpets – and the roar of the enemy’s battle cries.  Destruction rolls over the land.  Everything is destroyed and crushed.  How long must I witness this? My people are foolish – they don’t know me, says God – they are stupid children without understanding.  They are clever enough at doing wrong, but have no idea how to do it right! I looked, and the earth was empty and formless.  There was no light from the heavens.  The mountains and hills trembled.  The people were gone, the birds had flown away.  The fields had become wilderness.  The towns were in ruin – crushed by the Lord’s anger. The Lord says, the whole land will be ruined – but I will not destroy it completely, says the Lord.  The earth will mourn – and the heavens will be draped in black – because of God’s decree – and he will not change His mind. When the people hear the approaching army, they will flee in a panic.  The will hide in the bushes, run for the mountains, and will abandon the cities.  Not a person will remain. God asks, what we are doing.  We act like we’ve just plundered someone.  We dress in beautiful clothing, put on Gold jewelry – but our primping will do no good.  Our lovers will be our enemies. I hear a cry – a painful cry.  It is beautiful Jerusalem, gasping for breath and crying out: “Help!  I’m being murdered.!”	God doesn’t hold grudges.  He just wants whaat is best for us.  Like a parent, if our child quits  doing naughty things, we embrace them and send them on their way. If they don’t stop making poor choices, we have to find methods to convince them that continuing on that path is not a good one. I see here, the promise given to Abraham, re-spoken.  The blessings from God were not so much for the benefit of Israel.  God wanted to bless everyone on Earth – and He chose Israel to exemplify that relationship.  Ultimately though – it isn’t for the people, it is for the glory of God.  I’m not sure why we make this about ourselves – it is about the two great commandments: 1) God, 2) others. He continues to call us out of the danger zone.  To let go of the pride and power, and change our hearts – this is where the real change needs to take place. Jeremiah, from God, continues to try and wake the people up.  Shout and sound the alarm – run for your lives! At the very least, we can mourn for our sorry state of affairs. Jeremiah paints a vision of the future.  Leaders, pastors, prophets will all be terrified.  But why not now? He says the people have been deceived.  They’ve been told that peace is their destiny, but there is a sword to their throat.  EGW says that in these last days, there will be people who proclaim “Peace, peace,” but to avoid them. It seems as if those who get elected in a political system, have to cry peace, peace.  Those that tell the truth, Like George Bush, Sr. did (eg; he will raise taxes), will not get reelected.  Those that portray a vision of growth, safety, freedom, and prosperity – well, they are the ones who keep their positions. I am amazed that a church that teaches end-time events as a part of their core and substance, does not understand the implications of these end-times?  They seem to think that everything will be fine until Jesus comes.  They seem to think that there is nothing they must do to prepare for His return.  Just keep on doing what we’ve always done – and we’ll go home with Jesus in the end. But God is telling us here to cleanse our hearts so we can be saved.  We must proclaim the warning and quit rebelling against God! It is our own actions that has brought this upon us. Jeremiah weeps in pain.  This passage has caused me pause.  Jeremiah portrays his emotions deeply.  I don’t know if he was this expressive verbally – I certainly am not.  However, inside, this passion shouts from my soul. But somehow, in shouting that we need to awaken and that we need to make changes has led people to decide that I don’t love them.  This has been one of the most troubling and confusing issues for me. If I didn’t love them – from God’s heart, why would I care. But this is where I get my answer.  Even God says they are foolish and stupid.  If He thinks that, why do I believe I can get through to them. The whole earth is doomed.  But we will most likely wait until the last minute and we will cry out – “I am being murdered!”
Prayer

Dear God, help me to speak more clearly the repentance that must occur.  Teach me to be more patient with those who don’t get it.  Help me to change my heart and motives and to follow you always!

G

Original Post here.

Be My Children Again

Scripture	Observations/Paraphrase	Application
Jeremiah 3	August 18, 2009
1 “If a man divorces a woman and she goes and marries someone else, he will not take her back again, for that would surely corrupt the land. But you have prostituted yourself with many lovers, so why are you trying to come back to me?” says the Lord . 2 “Look at the shrines on every hilltop. Is there any place you have not been defiled by your adultery with other gods? You sit like a prostitute beside the road waiting for a customer. You sit alone like a nomad in the desert. You have polluted the land with your prostitution and your wickedness. 3 That’s why even the spring rains have failed. For you are a brazen prostitute and completely shameless. 4 Yet you say to me, `Father, you have been my guide since my youth. 5 Surely you won’t be angry forever! Surely you can forget about it!’ So you talk, but you keep on doing all the evil you can.” Judah Follows Israel’s Example 6 During the reign of King Josiah, the Lord said to me, “Have you seen what fickle Israel has done? Like a wife who commits adultery, Israel has worshiped other gods on every hill and under every green tree.7 I thought, `After she has done all this, she will return to me.’ But she did not return, and her faithless sister Judah saw this.8 She saw that I divorced faithless Israel because of her adultery. But that treacherous sister Judah had no fear, and now she, too, has left me and given herself to prostitution.9 Israel treated it all so lightly—she thought nothing of committing adultery by worshiping idols made of wood and stone. So now the land has been polluted.10 But despite all this, her faithless sister Judah has never sincerely returned to me. She has only pretended to be sorry. I, the Lord , have spoken!” Hope for Wayward Israel 11 Then the Lord said to me, “Even faithless Israel is less guilty than treacherous Judah!12 Therefore, go and give this message to Israel.s This is what the Lord says: “O Israel, my faithless people, come home to me again, for I am merciful. I will not be angry with you forever. 13 Only acknowledge your guilt. Admit that you rebelled against the Lord your God and committed adultery against him by worshiping idols under every green tree. Confess that you refused to listen to my voice. I, the Lord , have spoken! 14 “Return home, you wayward children,” says the Lord , “for I am your master. I will bring you back to the land of Israels— one from this town and two from that family— from wherever you are scattered. 15 And I will give you shepherds after my own heart, who will guide you with knowledge and understanding. 16 “And when your land is once more filled with people,” says the Lord , “you will no longer wish for `the good old days’ when you possessed the Ark of the Lord ’s Covenant. You will not miss those days or even remember them, and there will be no need to rebuild the Ark.17 In that day Jerusalem will be known as `The Throne of the Lord .’ All nations will come there to honor the Lord . They will no longer stubbornly follow their own evil desires.18 In those days the people of Judah and Israel will return together from exile in the north. They will return to the land I gave their ancestors as an inheritance forever. 19 “I thought to myself, `I would love to treat you as my own children!’ I wanted nothing more than to give you this beautiful land— the finest possession in the world. I looked forward to your calling me `Father,’ and I wanted you never to turn from me. 20 But you have been unfaithful to me, you people of Israel! You have been like a faithless wife who leaves her husband. I, the Lord , have spoken.” 21 Voices are heard high on the windswept mountains, the weeping and pleading of Israel’s people. For they have chosen crooked paths and have forgotten the Lord their God. 22 “My wayward children,” says the Lord , “come back to me, and I will heal your wayward hearts.” “Yes, we’re coming,” the people reply, “for you are the Lord our God. 23 Our worship of idols on the hills and our religious orgies on the mountains are a delusion. Only in the Lord our God will Israel ever find salvation. 24 From childhood we have watched as everything our ancestors worked for— their flocks and herds, their sons and daughters— was squandered on a delusion. 25 Let us now lie down in shame and cover ourselves with dishonor, for we and our ancestors have sinned against the Lord our God. From our childhood to this day we have never obeyed him.”	A man won’t take back a woman whom he has divorced, so why would he take back one who has prostituted herself with many lovers?  Why is Israel trying to come back to God? You can see shrines on every hilltop where this prostitution has taken place.  Even now, we sit like prostitutes beside the road – waiting for the next customer. We have polluted the land with this prostitution. This is why it doesn’t rain in the Spring. You say, but you’ve always been my guide, my father, you won’t be angry forever, but there is no stopping the evil behavior. Because Israel treated this all so lightly, no even Judah is following in these steps of prostitution. But even as Israel has repented, yet returned to her evil, Judah saw this was all so common, that she never sincerely returned and only pretended to be sorry. Israel is faithless, but Judah is treacherous. The Lord says, “Oh my faithless people, come home to me, again – I am merciful.  I will not be angry forever.  Just acknowledge your guilt, admit you rebelled and committed adultery by worshiping idols.  Confess that you refused to listen.” “Return home, my wayward children.” Say the Lord. “For I am your master and I will bring you back to the land.  I will give you leaders after my own heart who will guide you with knowledge and understanding.” When the land is filled again with people, you will no longer wish for “the good’ol days” when you possessed the Ark.  You won’t need to rebuild the Ark, for Jerusalem will be known as “The Throne of the Lord.”  All nations will come to honor God.  They won’t stubbornly follow their own desires.  Judah and Israel will return from Exile.  They will return to the land given their ancestors. God would love to treat us as His own children.  He wants to give us this land – the finest in the World.  He wants us to call Him Father, and not turn from Him. But we have been unfaithful.  Like a faithless wife who leaves her husband. The voices of God’s people are heard on high.  Weeping, pleading – for we have chosen crooked paths and have forgotten our Lord. Come back, Says God.  I will heal you. We are coming.  You are our God.  Our religious orgies were a delusion.  We can only find salvation in you.  We have seen everything squandered in delusion. We now lie down in shame and cover ourselves in dishonor.  We and our ancestors have sinned against God.  We have never obeyed.	I have always compared marriage to our relationship with God.  This symbol, between a man and a woman is sacred – for many reasons.  It is sacred because it is the closest any human can be to another.  It is sacred because it represents the relationship we have (or could have) with God. When we prostitute ourselves – spiritually, physically, or emotionally – we are polluted.  Many will say that sex in and of itself is not evil.  One should be able to be sexual with whomever they please – it doesn’t hurt anyone and it is no different than a hug. I disagree.  As a refugee from the sexual revolution, take my word for it – it leaves scars.  I have seen the scars I left in others, and I have been left wounded from the encounters others had with me. (but that’s another story) When the verse talks about a prostitute waiting by the road, it makes me think of Judah’s daughter-in-law.  He thought she was a prostitute, because of where he encountered her – but in reality, he was the one prostituting himself with the first woman who came along. No rain in the Spring.  Reminds me of Elijah and the drought.  Was this drought a punishment from God – or just a way to wake them up to their needs.  I see us currently in a spiritual drought, because of our disobedience.  We are not going to experience the Latter Rain until we repent of our actions, deeds, and intentions. Our leadership, our actions cause others to fall also.  The lack of spirituality in the church testifies greatly of a lack of faith.  We treat our relationship with God so lightly, that others toss God off like so much bad advice.  We give fuel to atheists and other unbelievers.  Because our relationship with God is so polluted, they see no reason to even draw near to Him. But even when we repent, the unbeliever never sees the need fully. We may be faithless, but Judah is treacherous.  This is a scary reality.  What have we done?  What monsters have we created. I see this in our kids.  Because of faithless parents, our kids are treacherous. But God still says, come home.  Acknowledge our guilt, repent, he will take us back. This was the message I was trying to preach.  I wanted us to acknowledge our guilt, our lukewarm approach, our sinfulness.  Repent, cast ourselves before God and be healed. It seemed as if people got hung up on the “we are sinners” part of this message, but coulldn’t see what it would take to get back into a right relationship with God. It’s not enough to just say, “Yeah, you’re right. I’m a sinner.  I’m sorry.  Now what?” There has to be a deep repentance, a deep remorse, and a deep healing.  This isn’t something that happens in a few minutes.  This is also why I believe my former church is the loser in all of this.  Not only were they unwilling to go here, but they no have turned their backs on this invitation.  It is going to be even harder next time. God’s promises, for when we return to Him are glorious.  Great gifts.  He wants so much to bestow great things on us.  He wants that love relationship that is so deep. Yes, we’ve been unfaithful, but if we’re willing, God will embrace us and have that closeness like none other.
Prayer

Dear Lord, please help me to forgive.  It isn’t me that they were rejecting.  It was You.  They want to make it look like it was me – to assuage their guilt.  But it is your love vs. their love of the World.  Help me to let go.

See Original here.

The Message

Scripture	Observations/Paraphrase	Application
Jeremiah 2	August 15, 2009
The LORD’s Case against His People 1 The Lord gave me another message. He said,2 “Go and shout this message to Jerusalem. This is what the Lord says: “I remember how eager you were to please me as a young bride long ago, how you loved me and followed me even through the barren wilderness. 3 In those days Israel was holy to the Lord , the first of his children.s All who harmed his people were declared guilty, and disaster fell on them. I, the Lord , have spoken!” 4 Listen to the word of the Lord , people of Jacob—all you families of Israel!5 This is what the Lord says: “What did your ancestors find wrong with me that led them to stray so far from me? They worshiped worthless idols, only to become worthless themselves. 6 They did not ask, `Where is the Lord who brought us safely out of Egypt and led us through the barren wilderness— a land of deserts and pits, a land of drought and death, where no one lives or even travels?’ 7 “And when I brought you into a fruitful land to enjoy its bounty and goodness, you defiled my land and corrupted the possession I had promised you. 8 The priests did not ask, `Where is the Lord ?’ Those who taught my word ignored me, the rulers turned against me, and the prophets spoke in the name of Baal, wasting their time on worthless idols. 9 Therefore, I will bring my case against you,” says the Lord . “I will even bring charges against your children’s children in the years to come. 10 “Go west and look in the land of Cypruss; go east and search through the land of Kedar. Has anyone ever heard of anything as strange as this? 11 Has any nation ever traded its gods for new ones, even though they are not gods at all? Yet my people have exchanged their glorious Gods for worthless idols! 12 The heavens are shocked at such a thing and shrink back in horror and dismay,” says the Lord . 13 “For my people have done two evil things: They have abandoned me— the fountain of living water. And they have dug for themselves cracked cisterns that can hold no water at all! The Results of Israel’s Sin 14 “Why has Israel become a slave? Why has he been carried away as plunder? 15 Strong lions have roared against him, and the land has been destroyed. The towns are now in ruins, and no one lives in them anymore. 16 Egyptians, marching from their cities of Memphiss and Tahpanhes, have destroyed Israel’s glory and power. 17 And you have brought this upon yourselves by rebelling against the Lord your God, even though he was leading you on the way! 18 “What have you gained by your alliances with Egypt and your covenants with Assyria? What good to you are the streams of the Niles or the waters of the Euphrates River?s 19 Your wickedness will bring its own punishment. Your turning from me will shame you. You will see what an evil, bitter thing it is to abandon the Lord your God and not to fear him. I, the Lord, the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, have spoken! 20 “Long ago I broke the yoke that oppressed you and tore away the chains of your slavery, but still you said, `I will not serve you.’ On every hill and under every green tree, you have prostituted yourselves by bowing down to idols. 21 But I was the one who planted you, choosing a vine of the purest stock—the very best. How did you grow into this corrupt wild vine? 22 No amount of soap or lye can make you clean. I still see the stain of your guilt. I, the Sovereign Lord , have spoken! Israel, an Unfaithful Wife 23 “You say, `That’s not true! I haven’t worshiped the images of Baal!’ But how can you say that? Go and look in any valley in the land! Face the awful sins you have done. You are like a restless female camel desperately searching for a mate. 24 You are like a wild donkey, sniffing the wind at mating time. Who can restrain her lust? Those who desire her don’t need to search, for she goes running to them! 25 When will you stop running? When will you stop panting after other gods? But you say, `Save your breath. I’m in love with these foreign gods, and I can’t stop loving them now!’ 26 “Israel is like a thief who feels shame only when he gets caught. They, their kings, officials, priests, and prophets— all are alike in this. 27 To an image carved from a piece of wood they say, `You are my father.’ To an idol chiseled from a block of stone they say, `You are my mother.’ They turn their backs on me, but in times of trouble they cry out to me, `Come and save us!’ 28 But why not call on these gods you have made? When trouble comes, let them save you if they can! For you have as many gods as there are towns in Judah. 29 Why do you accuse me of doing wrong? You are the ones who have rebelled,” says the Lord . 30 “I have punished your children, but they did not respond to my discipline. You yourselves have killed your prophets as a lion kills its prey. 31 “O my people, listen to the words of the Lord ! Have I been like a desert to Israel? Have I been to them a land of darkness? Why then do my people say, `At last we are free from God! We don’t need him anymore!’ 32 Does a young woman forget her jewelry? Does a bride hide her wedding dress? Yet for years on end my people have forgotten me. 33 “How you plot and scheme to win your lovers. Even an experienced prostitute could learn from you! 34 Your clothing is stained with the blood of the innocent and the poor, though you didn’t catch them breaking into your houses! 35 And yet you say, `I have done nothing wrong. Surely God isn’t angry with me!’ But now I will punish you severely because you claim you have not sinned. 36 First here, then there— you flit from one ally to another asking for help. But your new friends in Egypt will let you down, just as Assyria did before. 37 In despair, you will be led into exile with your hands on your heads, for the Lord has rejected the nations you trust. They will not help you at all.	God gives Jeremiah another message to share with the people. Starting with the history of the people, God recounts the young love that was shared.  An eagerness and a willingness to follow. The Lord shares how he treated the people as holy and he protected them – especially when other nations harmed Israel. “Listen,” God says. God wants to know what the people found to be wrong with God?  Why did their ancestors stray?  They worshiped worthless idols and became worthless themselves. The were not seeking God.  They weren’t longing for Him. Even after God brought them great gifts, they defiled those gifts.  The teachers ignored God and the leaders turned against Him.  The prophets spoke in the name of a false God. Therefore, God says, I will bring charges against you, your children, and your children’s children. * God asks them to look around – has any other nation swapped out their gods?  Even though, they are merely superstitious idols – they don’t abandon them. Yet, God’s people have done this! The heavens are shocked and dismayed – they shrink back in horror. God says, His people have done two evil things.  First, they abandoned him – the fountain of living water.  Second, they have dug their own wells – cracked wells that can’t hold water. Now, here are the results.  They have been carried away as plunder, the land has been destroyed, the towns are ruined.  Egypt has destroyed their power and glory. But, they have brought this on themselves. God wants to know what they’ve gained from these unholy alliances? Your choices – your bad choices will bring their own punishment.  You will see bitterness and evil as a result.  You will find that losing the fear (respect) of God is a bad thing. God has spoken. Long ago, God released us from bondage and the yoke of oppression.  He set us free from our slavery.  However, we prostitute ourselves everywhere. Though He carefully selected Abraham, somehow we grew to be a corrupt vine.  No amount of soap will make us clean or remove our guilt. God sees the stain of guilt. He has spoken. But we say, “That’s not true.” We haven’t worshiped false gods. God says, “Go look.”  We are like a female camel looking for a mate – desperately!  Like a wild donkey, sniffing the wind at mating time – our lust cannot be restrained. God wants to know when we’ll stop panting after other gods.  But we say, we are in love with these other gods and we can’t stop loving them now. We are like a thief that only feels shame when we are caught.  Everyone is guilty – kings, priests, officials, prophets.  Everyone. We call wood and stone our parents – but when things get really tough, we run to God! For some reason we don’t trust the wood and stone with the real issues – we don’t believe they will save us.  We have as many gods as we do towns in Judah. We accuse God of doing wrong – when actually, it was us who rebelled. We don’t respond to His punishments – and we have killed the prophets. God wants to know why you won’t listen?  Is he like a desert – a land of darkness? Probably not, but you say you are free and you don’t need Him anymore. Does a woman forget her valuables?  Does she hide her bridal dress?  Yet, God’s people forget Him. We plot and scheme to win other lovers.  Experienced prostitutes could learn from us.  Our clothing is stained with the blood of the innocent and poor. We continue to say, we’ve done nothing wrong.  Surely God isn’t angry with US! But God says He will punish us – severely – because we claim we’ve done nothing wrong. We go from one ally to another asking for help – but our new friends continue to let us down. In despair, we will be led into exile, for God has rejected the nations we put our trust in.  They won’t be any help at all!	This is the message I’ve been called to preach.  I see it so clearly.  It isn’t a message i want to preach.  But, really, I’m just the messenger. As I’ve struggled with my own spirituality for the past 30+ years, I’ve not found the answers I’ve looked for. First, it was religion via rules.  Follow the rules and everything will be OK.  But I couldn’t keep the rules – it was too much.  So then they told me to make sure I confess my failures and the slate would be wiped clean – but what if I lost track?  What if I missed one?  I was screwed! So, I chucked it all.  I sought a life of absolute freedom.  I will make my own rules, I will do my own thing.  That worked for awhile – I remember dancing with glee.  I had discovered an unburdened life.  It was awesome.  For awhile. Pretty son, the method became my prison.  I couldn’t stop.  I couldn’t get out of the rut.  They call this addiction.  Sex, drugs, Rock’n Roll.  It was terrible.  I was in a pit of despair and I couldn’t get out! So, after several failed attempts at different brands of spiritual enlightenment, I went back to church.  How depressing.  Really.  There was no Spirit there – no life. So, my mother gave me this advice: “You don’t go to church to receive, you go to give.” My reply was, “but I have nothing to give.” After a long conversation with my brother, where I listed all the things wrong with the church, my brother told me, “You can’t fix it from the outside, you have to fix it from the inside.” So, I took that advice – if you can’t beat them, join them. I have worked hard at this.  Probably too hard.  But like my friend Lawrence says, “there are two reasons I do this, one is biblical, the other is dysfunctional.”  That’s me. I tried to work inside a contemporary foundation, but found it seriously lacking.  I tried working inside of a generational niche, but that didn’t work so well – it was fun, but…  I went to school and learned from the best.  I read a couple hundred books, went to seminars, attended presentations, subscribed to newsletters, listened, watched, learned, traveled, and investigated. Then, with all that energy and insight, they put me in a church that was just fine the way they are, “thank you very much.”  I couldn’t wait to get out of there, and the feeling was mutual.  I tell people, it nearly killed me and it nearly killed them. And yet…  There were some true seekers in that church.  They wept when we left.  They wept for a long time. Then we were given the opportunity to start a church from scratch.  “Yay!” I shouted.  “Finally, we’ll correct all the errors.” We built the church from the ground up – a church without walls, so-to-speak.  We designed it with much prayer, a deep commitment to be used by God, and a deep desire to reach out to the unchurched seekers.  For some odd reason, we thought the unchurched would come running – “Finally, a church that gets it!”  We also thought the denomination would start throwing resources our way – “Finally, a church that knows how to reach the unchurched!” None of that happened. Well, some of it happened.  We were reaching the unchurched – we just needed more time.  Our funding was only for 5 years.  The majority of those attending our community of faith, were from unchurched backgrounds – many 12-steppers and recovering addicts.  Though our attendance was averaging a mere 100, we had an actual congregation size of around 150-200 and our reach was around 400. If given another few years, I believe we could have crested the wave.  But we needed more resources.  We needed a second pastor. In the long run though, the unchurched have such a prejudice against church, that they really don’t want anything to do with anything that even looks like church.  The church has such a fear of apostasy, that they don’t want anything to do with anything outside of the mainstream. So, that brings us back to the present.  Given the opportunity to pastor a church in a traditional format, we thought it would be easy.  We thought we could just be ourselves and not wrestle with the big issues.  We thought our fellow believers would cradle us in comfort and security. Unfortunately, what we found was a deep-seated mediocrity.  It was so hard to overlook.  I felt God calling me to preach repentance and commitment. It was really interesting.  The people on the “fringe” – those that weren’t a part of leadership and had no real voice in the church, they responded well to this clarion call.  People would come to me with tears in their eyes.  Thanking me for the courage to speak the truth.  Thanking me for speaking up.  Thanking me for speaking truth into their lives. Unfortunately, those in leadership tried to shut me down – they thought my message was discouraging and disheartening.  Eventually they were successful in shutting me down.  I was fired. But at least I wasn’t put in prison, stoned, or killed.  I’m still alive. Two days ago, as I prepared to preach to another local congregation, I had an interesting conversation with the Lord.  It was as if He was telling me to continue to preach this message in Scappoose.  Now, I had nothing to lose.  I could return – and unlike other zealots the church has faced in the past – I really have no axe to grind. To me, it’s not about so-called Historical Adventism, or the proper use of Ellen White’s writings.  It’s not about which version of the Bible is correct, whether we eat cheese, or not, or how we pray.  I’m not going to stand up in the worship service and denounce the preacher, I’m not going to hijack Sabbath School classes with some harbinger of “truth.” Instead, it is an opportunity to speak the truth through a life lived in harmony with the Creator and Savior. As I continued to work through this thought, I was reminded of Jesus’ example to shake off the dust.  He also reminded me that He released me from service in Scappoose, a couple of months before I was terminated. However, at this point, I’ve not been released from pastoral ministry.  And I’ve not been released from denominational service. I am called to preach.  I am called to bring Kingdom values into the lives of people.  I am called to help people truly experience God. Saturday morning, I went and preached.  The reception was good – and once again I was affirmed that the message is clear. We live in a day, not much unlike the days of Jeremiah.  We have turned our backs on God – if not fully, we don’t fully commit to Him.  It is time to let go of the distractions, and move forward.
Prayer

Father God, just for today, help me to walk with courage and transparency. Let my words be few.

* In my opinion, this isn’t because God is mean and vindictive, but because the actions of our ancestors affect their children.  For instance, when my great-grandparents decided to come to Oregon in the 1880s, that forever had a determination on my life.  I love it in Oregon, but I often wonder what my life would have been like in Wisconsin – or to take it further back, in England, or Germany?

When God imposed something on His people, it was bound to affect multiple generations.  He was just recognizing it here.

Do I Speak Out?

Scripture:

James 2:1,5 My dear brothers and sisters,s how can you claim to have faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ if you favor some people over others?

5 Listen to me, dear brothers and sisters. Hasn’t God chosen the poor in this world to be rich in faith? Aren’t they the ones who will inherit the Kingdom he promised to those who love him?6 But you dishonor the poor! Isn’t it the rich who oppress you and drag you into court?7 Aren’t they the ones who slander Jesus Christ, whose noble names you bear?

Observations:

It is amazing that these texts would come up today.  This is exactly the point I’ve been trying to make with my overseers. It appears that the educated, affluent, and apparently “put-together” people have more honor than the more marginal people of the church.  Those that hold positions of leadership, those that exhibit the least amount of brokenness, and those who seem to have the fewest problems are given more of a voice than the disenfranchised, the broken, and the marginalized.

And yet James tells us here that it is the poor who will inherit the Kingdom and it is the rich who oppress and slander the Lord’s name.

Applications:

Up until lately I have allowed myself to be put on the defensive.  I’ve tried to explain my actions and motives in a way that caused the least amount of push back.  I’ve tried hard to be politically correct and temperate in my words and actions.  However, about a week ago, I was impressed that I need to go on the offensive.  The scary part is that one begins to look like some lunatic fanatic.

But what great prophet of God hasn’t looked foolish?  What great prophet hasn’t experienced some great opposition, or been ostracized?  Virtually all of them have.  When the people of God have gotten so far off track that they required a strong voice to bring them back in alignment, the voice “crying in the wilderness” has often come from one who appears waaaay out there!

I don’t want to be that guy.  I just want to be a normal soul – I just want to walk in the shadows and not make waves.  However, this “gift” of discernment opens my eyes to the things around me.  I see the brokenness, I see the successes, I see the victories, and I see the failures.  I see the Spirit of God moving, but I see the mediocrity that has taken hold.  I wish I could keep my mouth shut.  However, God has also given me this gift/strength of Command (e.g. the ability to tell people what they don’t want to hear.)

Most of the great prophets of the Bible were willing to lose their lives over the messages God gave them.  Abraham was willing to sacrifice his son.  And here I am, worried about my employment.  It makes me feel weak and foolish.

Prayer:

Father God, just for today, give me the strength, courage, and wisdom to do the right thing.  Let me not overstep my boundaries and let me not understep them either.  You alone are the holder of Truth – in fact, you are Truth.  Please let me reflect You, Your character, and your Love in perfect balance – even though I am an imperfect vessel.

Forgive me for my failures, forgive me for my mediocrity, and forgive me for stepping out of line.  I love you Jesus.  Walk with me…

Psalm 62

1 I wait quietly before God,
for my victory comes from him.
2 He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress where I will never be shaken.

3 So many enemies against one man—
all of them trying to kill me.
To them I’m just a broken-down wall
or a tottering fence.
4 They plan to topple me from my high position.
They delight in telling lies about me.
They praise me to my face
but curse me in their hearts.     Interlude

5 Let all that I am wait quietly before God,
for my hope is in him.
6 He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress where I will not be shaken.
7 My victory and honor come from God alone.
He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me.
8 O my people, trust in him at all times.
Pour out your heart to him,
for God is our refuge.     Interlude

9 Common people are as worthless as a puff of wind,
and the powerful are not what they appear to be.
If you weigh them on the scales,
together they are lighter than a breath of air.

10 Don’t make your living by extortion
or put your hope in stealing.
And if your wealth increases,
don’t make it the center of your life.

11 God has spoken plainly,
and I have heard it many times:
Power, O God, belongs to you;
12 unfailing love, O Lord, is yours.
Surely you repay all people
according to what they have done.

To lead a quiet life…

Scripture:

1 Thessalonians 4:11,12 -¹¹Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, ¹²so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.

Observations:

I’ve read the passages following these verses many times.  But, often, I’m reading them at a funeral or memorial service.  Rarely have I taken the time to read the whole chapter – or, sadly, book – in context.

To me, these verses reflect well what is said in Micah 6:8 and Psalm 46:10.

This peaceful and quiet life glorifies God.

Applications:

Much of my life has been spent running the rat race.  I’ve not been trying to keep up with, or stay ahead of others, per se.  But I have been trying to stay ahead of the demons in my soul.  Somehow I believed that if I was victorious in merit, my life would have worth.

As I’ve drawn nearer to my Lord and Savior, I’ve found that my merit comes from being a child of God.  I’ve also discovered that my time on this Earth, in these circumstances, is quite short – based on an eternal timeline.  Anything I accomplish here, now, is temporary.

Travel, accomplishments, comfort, attainments, and success – these are all measured on a scale – for most of society – that has set a shortsighted view on life.  Anything I accomplish here – on this Earth – will be destroyed.  Instead, as an eternal citizen of the Kingdom, I want to prepare for that life – which has already began.

The grief I seem to be receiving now, feels as if it is revolving around this issue.  I would like to see His kids step into a slower, more peaceful life.  A life of spiritual growth, harmony, unity, and community.  Yet, for some reason, this seems distasteful to some.

Prayer:

Father God, just for today, let me walk, your narrow way.